Final Countdown?

9 lasts:

Last dollar spent: Bottle of water
Last cigarette: never
Last beverage: That same bottle of water
Last movie: Atonement
Last phone call: Jamie, she needed to know where I hid her cheesebread
Last song played: Renegades 07 show
Last bubble bath: Can't recall
Last time you cried: I teared up a little on Friday
Last thing you ate: Cherry Almond muffin from Rockey Grounds

8 have you evers.

Have you ever dated a best friend: No
Have you ever skinny dipped: No
Have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: No
Have you ever lost someone you loved: Romantically, or just in general?
Have you ever been dumped: Um...sort of?
Have you ever been drunk and threw up: No
Have you ever ran away: No
Have you ever wanted someone u thought u couldnt have then found out they liked you: Yes

7 states you've been to.
Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Louisiana, Nevada, California. No, wait, those are the only ones in the lower 48 that I haven't been to

6 things you've done today: (in no particular order...)
showered
ran a mile
facebooked. Like 5 times at least.
got bored and filled out a lame survey
bought a muffin
sang Happy Birthday to my professor

5 of your favorite things in no order.
Chops
Drum Corps
Music
Friends
Cassini's

4 people you can tell [almost] anything to in no order..
Matt, Jamie, Mitch, Larisa

3 things that make you smile.
Friends
Sunny days
House

2 things you want to do before you die.
Travel Europe (and other places)
Find Happiness

1 one thing you can't live with out
Music

Rantings of a Catholic Schoolboy...

WARNING: the following contains theological discussions and ranting that many of you, actually most of you, will probably find extremely boring.

You guys know me. You know I'm a Christian; you probably know that I'm Catholic. My family's Catholic and I go to a Catholic church and a Catholic school. As a Catholic I've been ridiculed and discriminated against and held responsible for things I didn't do and don't condone. At a Lutheran confirmation the preacher said that Martin Luther saved Christians from 1500 years of hell. <sarcasm>That made me feel great </sarcasm>. But whatever. I know my views, and I know that anyone who assumes I'm a close-minded jerk is guilty of the same thing.  I'm not Catholic because I hate homosexuals or think birth control is selfish or believe that anyone who isn't Catholic is automatically going to hell. I know that people in and people in charge of the Catholic Church have said, done, and believed some really stupid things. I'M NOT THEM. I've tried other churches, and I've stayed where I am because of three main things.

Number 1: Sin. The Catholic Church teaches that sin is a conscious choice by humans, and that if we regret it later and ask for forgiveness, we will be forgiven.  At another church I went to, I was told in very ... optimistic way, that anyone who believes in God and Jesus is automatically saved and sin is just us trying to do good and "missing the mark." I don't buy it, sorry. I believe in God with every inch of my being, but I still make conscious choices to do wrong. I consciously choose to be selfish, to disobey my parents or other authority figures, to say things about people that might end up hurting them. When I do those things, I'm not trying to do the right thing and I know it. I know they're wrong and I do them anyway.

Number 2: Communion. This one may be a little harder to describe using words. I was talking with my friend a couple days ago and the most concrete conclusion we could come to is that there's a completeness in the Catholic eucharist that we haven't been able to find elsewhere.  But like I said, I don't know if I can really describe this unless you've experienced it, so this is more of a one-on-one conversation topic.

Number 3: Humility. Jesus' teachings center around the idea of being humble, of putting other people before yourself, and not judging others. This is the one idea that I base my faith on the most, one of the main reasons I've stayed in the Catholic Church, and the reason that I never pray for or try to convert people just because they have a different faith than mine.  I base my life on the fact that I don't know anything about how or why God works, or what reason the poeple around me have for acting the way they do. I don't leave my church because I don't know enough about God to say that Catholics are right on something, but Lutherans have it on something elste, and Buddhists are close on this point or whatever. I stay in my church because I refuse to claim to understand God more than anyone else, because I haven't experienced what they have, or seen what they've seen. I don't judge other people's actions because my knowledge and my opinion is nothing compared to God's.

So what do I do? I live my life from day to day, trying to help people when they need it, trying to be a good friend and family member, and trying my best not to hurt anyone, because I know that I don't have the right to do that to them. That's what my religion means to me. It's as simple as that.

He then told the guests a parable, because he had noticed how they picked the places of honour. He said this, "When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take your seat in the place of honour. A more distinguished person than you may have been invited, and the person who invited you both may come and say, "Give up your place to this man." And then, to your embarrassment, you would have to go and take the lowest place. No; when you are a guest, make your way to the lowest place and sit there, so that, when your host comes, he may say "My friend, move up higher." In that way, everyone with you at the table will see you honored. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the man who humbles himself will be exalted." -Luke 14:7-11

Paper faces on parade...

Have you ever thought you knew someone, but then found out that there's a different person hidden underneath the face they put on?  Another identity under the mask they wear? Sometimes it's a better person, sometimes a worse person, and sometimes, just a different person.

Have you ever been that person?  Removing the mask and showing your true self for the first time?

Have you ever tried to take off your mask, only to realize that you don't know what your own face looks like anymore?

I'm a quiet guy. I like to think there's nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes I feel like I blend into the background, and people don't always notice me, but to be honest, I like it that way.  As long as I know people care about me, I don't care if I'm the center of attention or not.  In fact, I despise attention.  Going back to when I was a little kid, I was always extremely shy.  While I now know that the anxiety I feel when baring myself to others is unfounded, and I push through it, I still feel it.  I've been trying to get better. In fact, I know I have gotten better.  I actually think I'm on the verge of beating it for good.  There's only one problem; I don't know the me that isn't introverted and shy. The me that acts differently, talks differently, and feels differently about a lot of things.  I've been living so long as the outside me, that the outside me forgot the inside me.

Who is that shape in the shadows? Whose is the face in the mask?

I hope I remember myself soon . . .

Envy

omg, a new post! Don't get too used to it, this may just be a one-time thing.

It’s funny, really, how two words could change everything.  Two tiny little words, and all of a sudden a hundred unanswered questions come flooding back. These two words about someone, so effortlessly revealed to me, and yet for my whole life it has been impossible for me to show any aspect of myself so truly.
Perhaps one day I will be able to share so easily; but for now, friend, I envy you.

On my mind: Questions, Religion, Superstition, Relationships, and the number 7.

Currently Listening Songs I Wrote And Later Recorded Questions see related